Dudley Demented
by moodleoodle
Summary: After the war, Harry Potter never thought he'd see the Dursleys again until a simple floo call changes everything. Epilogue Compliant. Canon Pairings. Disclaimer - Everything you recognise belongs to J.K.Rowling.
1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1

Harry Potter strode purposefully through the foyer of the Ministry of Magic, after Voldemort's brief reign it had been remodeled into a completely new room. The dark decor had been replaced which a glass ceiling, which let in the ever present magical sunlight, and the walls were painted a warm red. The new centre of British Wizardry was infinitely more appealing. A welcome witch stood behind a dark mahogany desk, she smiled at him as he approached.

"Hello, Mr. Potter, how can I help you?" she asked cheerfully.

"Hi Rachel, just checking there's nothing else I have to do before I leave." Harry wondered why he was asking, there was no way he was staying to do anymore work.

"Nope, you're all done for the day, have a good evening!"

Harry sighed in relief, he had returned from a two week field operation in Albania yesterday evening and since then he had suffered through hours of debriefing and analysis of the trip that he hadn't even managed to take so much as a nap let alone go home and see his family.

As he made his way to the dissapparation point, he thought over the last 14 days of his life and what a waste of time they had been. Every three years the Auror Office launched an investigation into all the places Voldemort had lived in, visited or shown the slightest interest in, searching for signs that he or his followers were rising once again.

Of course nothing had been there. Voldemort was dead. Harry knew it, the Ministry knew it, everyone knew it, yet still an expedition had to be sent and hours of frustratingly dull meetings had to be held to contemplate the nonexistent signs of Tom Riddle's return to power.

It was 21 years after the war and Harry was sick of it, it was his children's Christmas holidays and he could have been at home with his family and friends. No longer should he have to spend his life worrying about the man who had caused the wizarding world so much trouble, especially for Harry and his friends.

Harry apparated just outside his home, Number 12 Grimmauld Place, the wards surrounding his property stopped him from apparating straight indoors. Another unnecessary Ministry precaution. 'Better safe than sorry' the note form Ernie Macmillan had read, the prat, Harry had never understood how he had ended up Head of the Auror Office. Shaking his head, Harry strolled up the front steps of his house and opened the familiar door.

"Hello!" he called as he hung coat up. No longer did they have to whisper in the house as Mrs. Black's portrait had finally been prised off the wall. In the end Harry had called in an Unspeakable to remove the Permanent Sticking Charm.

The call of four voices greeted him and all of a sudden three bodies launched themselves onto him. Grinning, Harry hugged each of his children in turn.

James was 14 and in his fourth year at Hogwarts. To Harry's despair he was living up to his namesakes. Along with his best friend Fred II, who was identical to his father and deceased uncle, they were the pranksters of Hogwarts and the only people in history who had managed to transfigure Professor McGonagall's angular noise into one resembling a muggle clown. It was after this incident that both he and George had received letters, thanking them sarcastically for joining together the two worst groups of student Hogwarts had seen - The Marauders and the twins - to form a duo that seemed to have their heart set on breaking the school record for most detentions received during their time at school. The current record was, of course, Sirius' who had astonishingly managed to receive 863 detentions while maintaining the fourth best grades in the year (behind Lily Evans, Remus Lupin and James Potter.)

Albus was next, he was the quietest of Harry's children and the only one of the family placed in Slytherin. Though true to his word, Harry was just as proud of Albus as he would have been if Albus was in Ravenclaw, Hufflepuff or Gryffindor. Albus was 13 and in his third year. He was, to Harry's joy, top of his class. Albus was more studious than any of his siblings or cousins, even Rose, who, although had inherited her mother's brains and work ethic, still retained her father's love of Quidditch and sense of fun. Harry knew Albus felt like an outsider around his cousins. He didn't share their natural outgoing personality and although he was a talented seeker like both his parents, he much preferred reading a book then joining in the massive family games in The Burrow's garden. As well as this, Albus was also the only one, apart from Harry himself, to forgive the Malfoys for their actions during the war. Harry had long since forgiven Draco and now their sons were best friends. Albus visited both Malfoy Manor regularly and Scorpius was always welcome at Grimmauld Place.

Lily was his youngest child; she looked the most like her mother with red hair and freckles. She was Harry's only daughter. She was 11 and just finished her first term at Hogwarts and as far as he could tell, she loved it. She was popular and according to Neville, she kept on top of her school work. The only concern Harry had was her treacherous relationship with the school's librarian, Madam Pince. Harry had heard from Neville, who had taken the role of Herbology professor just three years after the war, that in her first week Lily had been more than a little loud in the library. Madam Pince had raged at her and thrown her out. From that moment on, the librarian had hated Lily and Lily had gone out of her way to make the woman's life hell, including getting James and Fred to use the Invisibility Cloak to switch the places of every single book in the library during the night.

Harry stood up straight after he had greeted his children and was immediately pulled into a tight embrace by his wife. She kissed him forcefully and wrapped her arms around his neck. For a moment Harry savored the warmth of his wife's body. He had missed her. James coughed and the pair pulled apart to see Lily pretending to be sick. Harry grinned at Ginny.

"If that's how I'll get greeted, I'll leave more often." he joked. Lily grabbed his hand and started pulling him towards the kitchen.

"Come on, Dad. Me and Mum made cake!"

"Hey, I helped!" Albus exclaimed. Lily turned to him incredulously.

"You licked the bowl!" Harry laughed at his bickering children and made his way towards the kitchen.

"Well it helped with the washing up." Albus mumbled. Harry took his seat at the table. Ginny placed a bowl of her mother's onion soup in front of him and sat beside him.

"How was the trip?" she asked.

"Alright, bloody boring though." he added.

"Did you get us presents?" James said.

"James, I was camping in some freezing woods in Albania, the most I could have got you was a frozen twig!" Harry shook his head, "Besides you'll be getting more than enough presents at Christmas. It's only three days away." Before Harry had left, all the adults in the Weasley family had begun the momentous task of moving all the presents for the family to The Burrow's front room where the whole family would squash together on Christmas Day.

Harry was just starting on his soup when the flames in the large fireplace in the corner of the room turned a startling emerald green and a head popped out. Harry jumped and dropped his spoon into his bowl, splashing a large portion of his soup up onto his shirt where it burnt his chest.

"Merlin's pants!" he yelped and, grabbing a cloth, scrubbed furiously at his shirt.

"Here, let me do it." Ginny gently removed his hand and with a quick wave of her wand the stain and the uncomfortable burning sensation disappeared. Finally the family turned their attention to the head in the fire.

"Mr. Potter!" the man exclaimed.

"Yes?"

"I'm Healer Matthews, a situation has arisen including your cousin, Dudley Dursley, please could you come to St. Mungos immediately."

A/N

Thanks for reading! This is my first fanfic posted online though not the first written. Please review.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

The Potters gazed at the fireplace in shock. For a few moments the room was in silence as the family stared wide-eyed at the Healer. Harry was the first to recover.

"Dudley!" he spluttered. Healer Matthews nodded. Confused but too exhausted to try and speculate on what could have happened, Harry sighed and heaved himself up onto his feet. "Fine, I'll come through straight away." Healer Matthews nodded and and withdrew his head immediately. The fire returned to its normal orange and red flickers. Wearily, Harry pecked his wife on the cheek and made him way to to the small pot of floo powder to the right of the fireplace.

"But Dad, you didn't have any cake!" Lily pouted.

"I know sweetie but I have to go sort this out. I'll have some tomorrow." Harry assured her and with a final farewell to his family, he stepped in to the fireplace, threw the powder at his feet. The green flames flared beneath him.

"St Mungo's." he said clearly. For a few seconds, hundreds of fires flashed in front of his face, before he was climbing out into the foyer of St. Mungo's Hospital of Magical Maladies and Injuries. After the war, the hospital had been extended to manage the countless injuries, both physical and mental, of the war casualties.

He queued up behind a woman who curiously had a foot where her left hand should be. With a quick glance at the floor, Harry spotted her right foot was replaced with the missing hand. He recoiled slightly at the sight. The welcome witch glanced up lazily.

"Spell damage, fourth floor." she drawled. The woman departed and Harry moved to the front of the queue.

"Hi, I'm looking for Dudley Dursley." he said. The witch looked up , her eyes widening as she focused on the lightening scar. Harry felt self conscious. Around his family and friends he was just 'Dad' or 'Uncle Harry' but in the eyes of the public he was still a celebrity, reporters from The Daily Prophet still followed him around and he was recognized in the street for photos and autographs. Although it had steadily died down as the years progressed, he was still a household name in the wizarding community. Harry cleared his throat and the woman's eye flickered reluctantly down towards her desk and a blush rose in her cheeks.

"Ward 68, Eighth Floor, Arianna Ward." she said. Then with a final glance at his scar she looked back down towards her work. Harry turned away and made his way to the lift, he entered and pressed the button for the eighth. He leant against the cool metal wall of the lift, rubbed his forehead and yawned.

On the back of the door there was a sign. Harry scanned it, his eyes paused on 'Eighth Floor - Mental Illness.' Harry was shellshocked. What could Dudley have done? As the door slid open, he could feel his eyes shutting but he forced them open. He barely had the energy to think let alone struggle through a reunion with his cousin, over twenty years after a hellish childhood. He walked along the corridor counting the ward numbers in an attempt to keep himself awake. 60. 61. 62. 63. 64. 65. 66. 67... and 68. He swung open the door and almost walked into Healer Matthews.

"Ah, Mr. Potter, I was just coming to find you. Please follow me. Your cousin is in a private room just down here." Harry dragged his feet after the man. The beds lining either side of him were full. Most of the patients were quiet, staring into space. Some were whimpering or mouthing words frantically and many were rocking back and forth relentlessly. Harry started to panic. How was he meant to handle Dudley? He hadn't seen his cousin in years and their time together before that was painful and awkward, he wouldn't know what to say if they met on the streets but they were here - Harry called in because of a 'situation' and Dudley in a mental illness ward. Before they reached the door, Harry broke the silence.

"What exactly happened?" Harry asked.

"Your cousin was found in Godric's Hollow, with a muggle contraption, a sort of metal wand. I think its called a gun." Harry nodded, "Anyway, Justin Finch-Fletchley, you know, the Muggle Studies teacher at Hogwarts, was there and obviously understood the situation so when Dudley put the gun to his head, Justin tried to talk to him but your cousin didn't reply. As he went set the gun off, Mr. Finch-Fletchley sent a Deflecting Charm and the brullet, um, buller, no, the bullet bounced of Mr. Dursley's temple and went though his hand instead." Healer Matthews spoke clinically but with a pitying look on his face. Harry couldn't think of anything to say so he strode down the remaining distance and opened the door.

Inside, Dudley was sitting in the bed with the duvet pulled up around his chin. His hands were in front of his face. All Harry could see of his cousin was his blond hair and bandaged hand.

"Dudley." he whispered hoarsly. The boy jumped into the air and looked round at Harry fearfully. When he had moved, the bedcovers had fallen from around his body. Dudley was shirtless and Harry was terrified to see he could count Dudley's ribs. The previously obese boy was stick thin. When Harry looked at Dudley's face he noticed the prominence of his cheekbones, the multiple chins were gone leaving sharp angular bones where fat used to reside. His blond hair was short and matted. His face was white as a sheet and his eyes were bloodshot.

Astounded, Harry staggered towards the chair by Dudley's bed and almost collapsed into it. He looked round at the door desperately for Healer Matthews, who had, to his disappointment, left the room. Taking a deep breath, Harry tried to calm down so he could have a conversation with his cousin. Despite his exhaustion, the dramatic change in Dudley had left him desperate to know what had changed.

"Dudley, what happened?" Harry spoke quietly, Dudley was obviously nervous, understandably after he had been thrust into a world he had been brought up to fear and hate. Dudley remained silent and shook his head slightly. It was obvious he didn't want to talk about it. Harry racked his brains searching for anything he could say. He thought over his and Dudley's past. The terrible years of Harry's childhood, Dudley's fear of magic, the dementors and the things he had said the last time they had seen each other, when Harry was leaving to fight Voldemort and destroy the Horcruxes. Harry's life had changed so much yet seeing Dudley in this state had made that difference seem insignificant. Harry couldn't think of anything that would turn that violent headstrong boy into this vunerable man.

"Do you want to leave here.. and come back to my house?" Harry asked. Dudley's eyes shot to Harry and nodded. Pulling himself onto his feet, Harry turned to the door to find Healer Matthews, who was waiting outside.

"When can he leave?" Harry got straight to the point. He wanted to go home tonight, preferably with Dudley.

"Leave? Ummm, I wouldn't advise him leaving."

"Why?"

"Well-"

"Is his hand healed?"

Well yes bu-"

"Is there anything wrong with him you can diagnose?"

"Well no but-"

"So why can't he leave? Harry demanded. Healer Matthews looked rather flustered.

"You know something is wrong with him, I want to test him, see if we could help him." the man tried to explain.

"That man is a muggle who is obviously petrified of magic and you want to use him as a guinea pig!" The Healer didn't seem to know what that meant or what to say to reply so Harry interrupted his nervous fidgeting.

"I'm taking him with me." Healer Matthews sighed and nodded though Harry could see anger in his eyes. He definitely wasn't used to being disagreed with. Harry turned on his heel and entered Dudley's room.

Pinning a smile on his face, he turned to Dudley.

"You can leave now. Grab your things." Dudley looked shocked but appreciative and Harry's authoritative turn but slowly climbed out of bed and grabbed shirt that lay on the end of his bed. Harry suddenly wondered how they were going to get home. Seeing as Dudley didn't look like he was going to speak anytime soon, floo was out of the question. Dudley couldn't fly on a broom in his weak state. That left walking, the Knight Bus or apparating. It was too far to Grimmauld Place to walk and Dudley's pale face made Harry think that the contents of Dudley's stomach, no matter how small, wouldn't last long on the purple bus. That left apparating. How he was going to persuade Dudley to use magical transport, Harry didn't know so he cast it from his mind and looked to Dudley to see if he was ready. Dudley nodded and they made their way out through the ward. Dudley walked slower than Harry would have liked but considering the man had just tried to commit suicide, Harry thought it wasn't the time to complain.

Once outside Harry gripped Dudley's shoulder and murmured.

"Hold my shoulder, and close your eyes." Dudley turned desperately towards Harry and began to struggle. Harry, being taller, stronger and healthier soon managed to stop Dudley from running off but Dudley wouldn't stop moving and fighting. Harry had no other way of getting Dudley home, he would just have to apparate him against his will. Thinking particularly hard, he pictured his home and turned on the spot, Dudley stiffened and clung desperately to Harry's arm, almost cutting off his blood supply until they reached Grimmauld Place where Dudley gasped in lungful of air and fainted.

Panicking, Harry leant over Dudley's immobilised body and whispered

"Renervate" and flicked his wand. Dudley spluttered and without a noise his eyes opened and he slowly climbed to his feet. His shoulder twitched and his eyes flickered from the house to Harry all around Grimmauld Place. Slowly Harry led him up the steps to Number 12 and opened the door.

"Well Dudley. This is home."

A/N

Thanks for reading. This is the last chapter I have written so updates are probably never going to be this quick again. Thanks to my friend Becca who has beta'd these chapters and will probably do so for a long time into the future. Please review.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

As Harry entered the house he glanced down at his watch, the watch that used to belong to Fabian Prewett, the watch that the Weasleys' had given him on his seventeenth birthday. It was almost midnight, the children would be in bed so he was almost silent as he made his way slowly though to the kitchen, subconsciously aware of Dudley following close behind him. The boy's fear was palpable and when Harry opened the door to reveal Ginny sitting by the fireplace, he flinched.

Ginny stood up and strode over to Dudley, giving Harry a glare as she passed him. She placed a hand on Dudley's shoulder. He jumped out of her reach and shuddered violently

"Dudley, can you go upstairs for a minute? I need Harry for a minute, I'll send him up when he's done." Dudley looked nervously at Harry, who smiled reassuringly.

"Upstairs, first on the left." Harry said kindly and Dudley hesitated then nodded. The couple watched as Dudley climbed the stairs, glancing nervously behind him several times before reached the landing and disappeared out of sight and earshot.

Ginny waited till Dudley had left the room before turning on Harry.

"We need to talk." she demanded. Harry sighed and resigned himself to sitting through Ginny explaining what was bothering her.

"Ok," he walked to a chair and sat down in it, waiting for her to start.

She began calmly, she always started calmly, the yelling came later.

"Why is your cousin now upstairs in my guest room?"

"Our guest room" Harry corrected then caught her eye and continued, "He tried to commit suicide." Ginny looked shocked momentarily but caught herself and indicated that he should continue. "He was at St. Mungo's and he's petrified of all things magic so I had to take him somewhere away from a magical hospital, didn't I?"

"Why didn't you take him to your uncle and aunt's?"

"You know I haven't had contact with them since I left. There was nowhere else to go."

"Surely Dudley could have told you where they were."

"I don't think they can look after him anymore."

"You don't think? Why not? Did Dudley tell you what happened to them."

"Well the thing is, Dudley hasn't really-"

"Hasn't really what?"

"Spoken yet." Harry tried to look anywhere but at his wife. It suddenly struck him that what he had done, was probably not what the average wizard would have done but, to Harry, accepting his cousin again had just come naturally after he saw the state Dudley was in. Ginny's face had reached a shade of red that Ron would have been proud of. Now the shouting would start.

As if on cue, Ginny burst.

"You mean to tell me that you have just taken in your cousin, the one who, to your own admission, totured you all the way through your childhood!?" she yelled.

"I don't see what the problem is." Harry defended himself. He had taken in his family, much in the way the Weasleys' had taken back Percy all those years ago. No one had complained then.

"The problem is, you left me and your children, who had been waiting for two weeks to see their father, to go and talk to your violent cousin, who you've then inflicted upon us without consulting me!"

"It's my house, I'll bring home whoever I like!" Harry shouted.

"We're married, it's our house and now it's going to be my resonsibility to look after a disturbed, unpredictable man who has hated you all his life!"

"I couldn't leave him there! You didn't see how scared he was, he needed me. I'm his only family!" Harry argued. He had to protect Dudley. Even if he had to leave Ginny, he couldn't abandon his cousin.

"You don't know that. His parents could be fine and well."

"They're not, I can just tell, they're not. Dudley would not be like that if he had someone to live for. He was found in Godric's Hollow, Ginny. He was looking for me, I just know it. He would never look for me unless he had to. Unless there was no one else he could turn to." Harry breathed heavily. He had said all there was to say. He turned to the stairs when Ginny spoke again softly.

"Harry wait. I'm sorry" he turned and looked at her expectantly. "He can stay, I won't say anything." She walked towards him slowly and he pulled her into a hug.

"I'm sorry, Gin, I should have told you at least but he's the only family I have left. He was the only one of them who thought I was worth even the slightest. I couldn't just leave him."

"It's ok. Now, go and talk to your cousin. He'll be waiting." Harry pulled her closer for another few seconds then made his way upstairs.

On his landing, Harry paused in front of his guest room and knocked softly. No reply. He knocked louder. Nothing.

"Dudley." he called cautiously as to not to wake his children. There was still no reply. Harry pulled the handle and entered. Dudley was sitting in exactly the same position as he was in St. Mungos. As Harry approached Dudley realised his presense and sat up straight. Harry could tell he was scared, petrified even, at the situation but when you looked straight into his eyes, they were blank and dead. He was still depressed the feeling blanketed beneath the paralysing fear of being thrust into the wizarding world.

"Hey." Harry greeted him cousin. Dudley nodded in return. "Are you ok?" Dudley nodded again.

"Dudley." Harry was suddenly unsure of what he was about to say. "What happened to your parents?" Dudley immmediately tensed but didn't respond. "Dudley, they're my family too." Harry persisted, keeping his voice calm. Dudley didn't reply. They sat in silence for several minutes before either of them moved. Harry stood and stretched his arms above his head. Dudley's head shot up.

"Wait!" he whispered hoarsely, he had obviously thought Harry had made to leave the room. At the sound of Dudley's voice, Harry instantly sat down. Dudley took a huge breath and began to tremble, shaking from head to toe.

"Dudley, calm down, its OK." he said soothingly. "Please just tell me what happened." Dudley sat in silence, with his eyes closed for a few seconds, as if psyching himself up for what he was about to say.

"Th-They died." Dudley whispered so quietly Harry had to strain his ears to hear him. "They're dead." Dudley was louder this time but his voice was monotonous. Harry suddenly remembered his uncle and aunt. Through his childhood they had been cruel and harsh but they had raised him and now they were gone. The only relic of his past before Hogwarts was the man sitting in front of him. Harry's heart suddenly pounded in sympathy for is cousin, all his life he had relied on Vernon and Petunia and now they were gone he was alone. Dudley was left depending on Harry, the cousin he had hated until only a year before Harry left to defeat Voldemort.

"How did it happen?" Harry asked but Dudley pulled his knees up to his chin and shook his head desperately, tears streaming down his cheeks. Harry sighed and stood up.

"Thank you, Dudley." He whispered and moved it towards the door. Dudley whimpered. Swinging back round to look at his cousin, Harry looked at Dudley's desperate face.

"Ok, I'll sleep here." Harry said. Dudley nodded, looking relieved. Harry summoned some blankets and a pillow. His first night back home and how strange it had been. He made himself a bed out of the sofa in the corner in the room. After switching off the light, Harry lay down and pulled the blanket over him before turning to look towards Dudley.

Dudley still hadn't moved from his hunched position. Harry watched him for a few minutes. He was deathly still and silent. His face looked even paler now the room was dark. His blue eyes looked huge as he stared at the far wall. Harry wanted to speak, to say something reassuring but he couldn't find any words. How could he comfort this strange man, so different from anything Harry would of imagined Dudley would've turned into? He thought for a few moments more until his exhaustion got the better than him. He shut his eyes and allowed himself to fall asleep.

A/N

Don't really like this chapter but thanks for reading. Thanks to my amazing friend and beta Becca who is the reason my spelling is accurate especially 'hoarsely' which is impossible to spell. Chapter 4 is already longer than these 3 but its not finished yet unless I take Becca's advice and split it into two chapters which I'm probably not going to do so the next update might be a while. Please review.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

_Harry heard a scream and he spun round wildly. He was in the Department of Mysteries, in the room with so many identical doors. The scream came again, Harry recognised it. It was his mother's scream. Frantically Harry turned towards the sound and burst through his door. Voldemort's blood red eyes were staring back at him. Suddenly there was a flash of green light and Harry heard the screech of the Killing Curse that had killed his parents. Everything went black. Slowly, Harry stood up. Nagini lunged at him. It was dark again. Flashes of light, Harry was back in the cave and Dumbledore was screaming at him, begging for Harry to save him. Within seconds a group of inferi appeared on the edge of the island, launching themselves at Harry. Then in the graveyard, another flash of green light and Cedric was rolling on the floor, his dead eyes staring accusingly at Harry. On the astronomy tower, Dumbledore's body flying away from him off the balcony. Harry holding Snape's body as he died. Mad-Eye Moody falling to the ground. Sirius drifting away from him, Lupin holding him back. Lupin's dead body next to Tonks'. Molly's scream of anguish and Fred's body surrounded by his family. George shaking Fred's shoulders desperately. Ron's eyes boring into his. Crying out, Harry curled into a ball and everything went dark again. Harry could hear whispering. The muffled noise got louder and louder until Harry could make at the words. "Your fault, your fault." echoed round the room. Abruptly Harry was thrust into light. He was standing, surrounded by bodies, in the smoking ruins of Hogwarts. Slowly the bodies began to stand and Harry gasped as he recognised the faces: His parents, Cedric, Dumbledore, Mad-Eye, Sirius, Lupin, Tonks, Snape and Fred. They stood up and formed a circle around him. "Your fault, your fault." the chanting got louder. The circle began to turn and Harry spun round desperately. He fell to his knees. "Please, please forgive me!" The figures moved faster, their faces dancing in front of his eyes wildly. "We died for you. It's your fault we're dead. Your fault." Harry begged. "Please, please, I didn't mean to, I didn't want you to die." The bodies spun faster and faster until Harry could only see a blur. He cried out and collapsed._

Harry woke with a sharp jolt. He had fallen off the sofa and whacked the back of his head off the floor. Slowly Harry stood and winced as he stretched. His back was stiff after a night on the small sofa. He looked at his watch, it was half six. Harry groaned. It had been 1:30 when he had finally laid down to sleep. Usually he could work on five hours sleep but he had spent last night working on his Albania report and the two weeks before that he had spent his nights on the cold hard floor of a Albanian forest (the Auror Office was low on budget and didn't provide fancy tents for its officers.

Harry rubbed his hand through his hair and thought over his distressing dream. Dudley's return had brought them back. It wasn't like he didn't get the nightmares, they still came, just less often and Harry hadn't had one in a month or two. It had gotten better over time. For the first few years after the war Harry had been plagued by shocking revisits to the destroyed grounds of Hogwarts School Of Witchcraft and Wizardry. They came much less often but they still came. He still woke shaking and sweating in the early hours of the morning after watching his friends die in front of him again. It wasn't only him. He still held Ginny in his arms when she cried out, watching her brother die over and over in her sleep. When they stayed at Ron's, his yells pierced the quiet nights, as did Hermione's screams. They were all affected by the war, no matter what they pretended; their fears would escape in the night when they were victims of their memories and their imaginations.

Glancing at the bed, Dudley was lying hunched over in a small ball. He was whimpering and every so often he flinched and rolled over. Harry sighed, he could spot the signs of a nightmare from a mile away. Silently Harry made his way to the door and slipped outside. Slowly he made his way downstairs.

In the kitchen, Harry made himself a cup of tea, sat down at the table and rested his head on his arms. What was he going to do about Dudley? Five cups of tea later he hadn't come up with a conclusion. Harry stood and made his way to the window, he stared at the small patch of grass in front of Grimmauld Place, it was where he had first seen Sirius' house, dozens of deatheaters had stalked him, Ron and Hermione while they were planning the Ministry raid, it was the last place he'd seen Lupin before the Battle of Hogwarts.

Sometimes Harry really wanted to get away. He would move to the muggle countryside and live away from everyone. They'd beg him to stay, no doubt but every place in the wizarding world held terrible memories, people had fought for him here or against him here, people had been murdered and tortured almost everywhere during Voldemort's reign. When Harry thought about the true scale of the terror that had struck his world two decades ago, it was the only time he thought about leaving and starting a life away from his past.

Harry heard feet thumping on the floorboards upstairs, people were waking up so Harry made his way to the cupboard and started pulling out ingredients.

Half an hour later when the first person descended the staircase, there was a steaming pile of pancakes on the table. James entered the room.

"Great, pancakes!" he grinned and took a seat at the table, and reached for a plate. Harry whacked his hand away with a wooden spoon.

"Hey, wait for Albus and Lily."

"But they'll be ages."

"Well you can help me wash up then, while we wait." Harry threw a towel at his son who heaved himself up out the seat and made his way towards the sink.

"You could just use magic." James grumbled.

"I could, but then I wouldn't have this bonding time with my lovely son." Harry splashed water at James.

"Hey!" he yelled and flicked his towel at Harry.

"James Potter, stop that now." a new voice entered the conversation. They both spun to see Ginny standing in the doorway. "Go and sit at the table, Albus and Lily are coming down now." As if on cue the two youngest children came in from behind Ginny and took their seats at the table. Ginny moved over to the sink and muttered in Harry's ear.

"I guess you don't want to explain to me why didn't come to bed last night." Harry sighed and shook his head.

"Sorry."

The couple walked to the table and sat down in front of a nearly empty pile of pancakes.

"Hey, save us some!" Harry exclaimed, snatching three pancakes for himself and passing the plate to Ginny.

Starting to eat, Harry glanced at his wife raising his eyebrow. She nodded softly answering his implied question.

"Guys." Harry started, waiting until all his children were quiet before continuing, "Last night, when the healer called, I had to bring Dudley back here." Albus and Lily looked up in shock while James, hesitated, scowling at his plate then dragged his face up to meet his father's eyes.

"Why?" Lily demanded.

"He has nowhere else to go." Harry explained softly. Lily looked flustered.

"How long will he be here?"

"I don't know Lils, until he's better again."

"Will he be here for Christmas?" Harry struggled to find an answer. He knew Dudley would not be able to leave in the next two days but admitting that to his children would not be easy.

"Probably Lily, he's really not very well" Harry breathed in sharply, waiting for the outburst.

"But-but..." Lily seemed to be trying to find a polite way to phrase her complaints. A few seconds of stuttering later she gave up. "But he'll ruin Christmas!"

"Ssh Lily." Albus glanced nervously at the ceiling before continuing. "He's family, we can't just throw him out on the streets. Christmas is the time for family." Harry smiled gratefully at Albus as James snorted incredulously.

"Dad didn't seem to think that when he went off in the middle of the holidays." he muttered viciously then stormed out the kitchen. A few seconds later a door slammed upstairs. Harry stared in shock at where James had just been sitting. No one spoke. Lily sat open mouthed staring at the door while Albus focussed on his plate.

Ginny took control of the situation.

"Al, Lily, why don't you go get ready. We're going to Diagon Alley and I want to avoid the Christmas crowds." The two children left the kitchen quickly. Ginny flicked her wand and the plates flew into the sink.

"Where did that come from? What did I do?" Harry was flustered and looked desperately towards his wife. Ginny opened her mouth to speak. "Maybe I should go up and talk to him." Harry continued.

"No." Ginny interrupted, "Let him calm down, he just wanted to have you to himself over the holidays and he thinks Dudley's going to change that." She placed a reassuring hand on his knee. Harry moved away quickly and rested his head in his hands.

"You better get going. Diagon Alley will get busy soon." he said coldly. Ginny sighed and called up the stairs for Albus and Lily. From the bottom of the stairs Ginny looked towards her husband. His hands were clenched in his messy black hair. She sighed again. Harry had been working too hard recently and now he had more to stress about with his sick cousin and James being difficult.

Her worries were interrupted as the two youngest children came thundering down the stairs. With a final glance towards her husband she made her way to the door.

Harry sat in silence as his family left the house.

"Bye, Dad!" Albus called cheerily as the front door slammed behind them.

A/N

Ok, Becca's right so this is what I would call Chapter 4 Part 1 :) Thank you for reading. Please review.


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

Reluctantly, Harry stood up. Moving to the counter he made two cups of tea and put them on a tray before mounting the stairs. On the landing, Harry stared at James' door. He wished he could reassure his son that Dudley wouldn't change anything and Harry could still spend time with him over the holidays but he loath to lie to his family.

Sighing, Harry opened Dudley's door. His cousin's frail body was sat bolt upright, his face staring fearfully at the doorway. When he saw Harry he relaxed and leant back against the headboard.

For a while neither of them moved. Harry studied Dudley's face, his eyes were cushioned by deep bags and he was paler then the day before. He had pulled the thick blanket tight around, cocooning himself in the material.

After a long pause, Harry finally spoke,

"I brought tea." he said awkwardly. Dudley stared at him blankly. Slowly, Harry walked over to the bed and perched on the edge. He placed the tray on the bedside table and held a mug out towards Dudley. His cousin extracted a shaking hand from the duvet . As he wrapped his fingers around the mug, his hand touched Harry's finger briefly.

For a moment Harry felt a clammy quivering touch before Dudley flinched violently, moving backwards, almost falling off the other edge of the bed. Harry jumped and just managed to keep a hold of the cup.

"It's ok." Harry said. Dudley took a deep breath and when Harry offered him the cup again he managed to take it without incident. Dudley took a long gulp of the tea. It took him under a minute to finish it and he looked calmer than before. Harry was distressed. What had become of his cousin? Unable to stand a fleeting touch of Harry, something terrible must have happened to turn the powerful headstrong boy into this shivering wreck.

"What was your nightmare about?" Harry blurted out. Dudley looked at Harry, his eye were startled and scared.

"How did you know I had a nightmare?" he asked quietly.

Harry shrugged, he didn't want to bring up the war and the numerous nightmares it had caused with Dudley just yet. Dudley narrowed his eyes but didn't press for an explanation.

"I saw them again." he whispered. Harry waiting silently, biting sharply on his lip to prevent himself from asking questions. Dudley hesitated, he shot a nervous glance at Harry who hastily tried to look sympathetic and encouraging.

"I saw my mum and dad dying all over again" Dudley's eyes were red-rimmed and moist.

"How did they die?" Harry blurted, mentally scolding himself for the insensitive interruption. Dudley looked alarmed at the blunt question but he looked Harry in the eye as he spoke.

"After we left we got take to a safe house. We had to app- apparate, it was horrible. I was sick and mum fainted. Dad was so angry, he wanted to go home again but they wouldn't let us." Harry thought back to his first time using Side-Along Apparation when Dumbledore had taken him to persuade Slughorn to return to Hogwarts. It seemed so long ago. Snapping back to reality, Harry focused him attention back on Dudley.

"We were in the safe house a few weeks before anything happened. It seemed ok. Dad calmed down and we were left alone. But they came again... The dementors. It was so much worse than last time. There were more of them I think. It was so very cold. Mum was crying, screaming. I wanted to help her and comfort her but I just couldn't move. Bestial came and did the spell that you did but she didn't get to Dad in time. His face went all blurry and twisted the he just fell to the ground and fainted. When he woke up he was gone." Dudley swallowed hard as a small tear escaped from the corner of his eye, "He couldn't recognise us. It was like he had never met us. His eyes were just... dead. In the end they took him away in the middle of the night. They didn't even give us a chance to say goodbye." A small sob escaped Dudley's lips, the tears were coming thick and fast. Despite all of the Dursleys' faults, Harry considered, they really did love each other. "That was when Mum started to lose. She stopped eating and she wouldn't talk to anyone, not even me. She just lay in bed and cried and cried. I tried to help I did. I really did but I just couldn't do anythi-" Dudley started sobbing loudly.

"It's ok, Dudley, you don't have to tell me anything else if you want." Harry placed a reassuring hand on Dudley's shoulder. His sniffed and wiped his face roughly. He looked up at Harry.

"No, I do. I have to tell you." Dudley took a deep breath and seemed to collect himself. "After a long time try let us go. They took us home but it brought back so many bad memories. Mum got worse, if that was possible. She was so unpredictable. She could go from hysterics to silence in a second and sometimes she acted so normal and I thought she was going to get better but she never did." Dudley's voice was mechanic. It was like he was speaking about something unrelated. Harry recognised it. It was how people spoke during the war when they were reporting yet another murder. Dudley was trying desperately not to be overwhelmed by panic and hysteria.

"One night I heard her downstairs. She was cleaning frantically, worse then she used to be and she kept whispering 'Lily' over and over again. I knew she was talking about your mum. I took her back to bed and she was quiet for the rest of the night. It was unusual, she normally got up two or three times during the night. When I woke up I went into her room and she was just lying there. She looked... normal. I noticed a piece of paper on her dresser, it just said 'Dudley, never forget I loved you but I need to go, I need to tell Lily I'm sorry.' I checked her pulse and she was dead, she must have found painkillers in the kitchen and taken them all." Dudley's voice wavered against his will and he collapsed again into quiet tears.

"Harry." Dudley said softly, "Whatever I've said about you not having parents, I'm sorry, I'm so sorry."

Harry wrapped a strong arm around his cousin and pulled him into a silent hug. Dudley made a whimper of protest but leant into Harry, resting his head against his shoulder.

This was the closest Harry had been to Dudley since he had seen him and the first time he appreciated just how frail his cousin had become. After all Harry had been through, he thought what Dudley had seen was worse. Harry's parents had died before he could remember them and through all the deaths since, Harry had always been certain it was for a good cause. Dudley had been orphaned for a war he had never been a part of.

A/N

Sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry, never meant for this chapter for take this long. Its no excuse but I've just got back at school, works overwhelming me and I've been ill for the entire time. This chapter just wouldn't write and I'm still not completely happy with it. Thanks to Becca my lovely beta. Please read, review and forgive me!


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6

Harry spent most of the next hour sitting in pensive silence on the sofa in Dudley's room. They talked a little about trivial things - Dudley asked about Harry's children and Harry gave his usual spiel about his 'wonderful' offspring. Both of them avoided any mention of Dudley's experiences or the war. The limited conversation relied heavily on Harry's expert skills in small talk, perfected from hours of tedious chit-chat with the wizarding worlds nobelity.

Harry heard the familiar whoosh if someone arriving by floo and stood up quickly.

"Hey, Harry, where are you mate?" Harry heard Ron shout from the bottom of the stairs. He turned to Dudley.

"Wait here, I'll go talk to him and explai-" The door swung open with a loud bang as it struck the wall. Harry swung round, Ron's shocked face stood in the doorway and Hermione's was peering worriedly from behind him. In his haste to speak to Dudley, Harry had missed his friends' pounding feet on the floor.

"What is he doing here?" Ron blurted loudly. Dudley shied away from the talk ginger wizard blocking the door but Hermione poked her husband sharply.

"Be polite Ronald." she reprimanded him before smiling kindly at Dudley who gave curt nod in return. Harry looked back and forth between his cousin and his best friends. The situation reminded him of Dumbledore sitting in the Dursleys' living room all those years ago - his two worlds were colliding all over again.

"Dudley, this is Ron, my brother-in-law and Hermione, his wife. Guys, this is my cousin Dudley."

"We've met." Ron said coldly and Dudley paled, he obviously remembered the Ton Tongue Toffee debacle.

"Ron..." Harry shot his friend a warning glance before turning to Dudley. "I'll talk to Ron then bring up some breakfast, okay?" Dudley nodded nervously. Standing, Harry shooed Ron out and and shut the door quietly behind him, giving Dudley a reassuring smile before he disappeared from view.

Downstairs, in the kitchen, Ron turned on Harry.

"What is he doing here?" he demanded. Harry sighed and took a seat at the table. Hermione sat down beside him.

"He was found at Godric's Hollow, trying to commit suicide." Harry said bluntly. Hermione gasped and Ron looked momentarily taken aback.

"How did he get there?" Hermione asked breathlessly. Harry shrugged.

"I don't know, I've only just got him to tell me what happened to my aunt and uncle." Harry briefly explained how Dudley come to be in his home and told them what had happened to Vernon and Petunia. When he had finished speaking, Hermione had tears in her eyes. Ron moved behind her a rested a comforting hand on her shoulder.

"I still don't see why he has to be here." Ron said stubbornly.

"I'm the only person he has left!" Harry shouted, was unreasonably angry. Did nobody understand him? Everyone expected to him to abandon Dudley, leave him on the street or desert him at St Mungos.

"Harry calm down." Hermione hushed him, "Ron's just shocked."

"No, I'm not, I'm angry!" Ron protested. "Harry, I rescued you from that house. There were bars on the window and you were being fed by a cat flap in the door! You used to sleep in a cupboard and you always pretended that we didn't notice the bruises and the tear stains down your cheeks. We say how hurt and hungry you were after every summer. How can you let him stay here when he stood by and let you be abused by the hideous people!?" Harry looked at Hermione, she hadn't openly agreed with Ron but he could tell she was thinking the same thing.

"He was a child, Ron and those 'hideous people' were his parents. Besides he's family and I will stand by him as long as he needs me. Why can't you understand that? You'd never abandon your family."

"My family never beat me up and left me to starve." Ron grumbled.

"Percy openly turned against you. He called your dad a failure and left your mum." Ron grimaced at the memory.

"That's different."

"It's exactly the same and you know it." Harry was breathing heavily. "If you can't accept that Dudley is here to stay, you can leave."

"Fine." Ron stormed over to the fire place and with a twist of green flames he was gone. Hermione gave Harry an apologetic smile.

"He'll calm down now and then he'll be back here apologising, I'll make sure of it." When Harry didn't reply. Hermione kissed Harry on the cheek and followed her husband out via the fireplace.

For the second time in 24 hours, Harry sat at the kitchen table and thinking that the day could not get any worse and wondered absent mindedly how many times he would be proved wrong.

A/N

Writer's block is a thing of hell. Sorry for the long wait and the dreadfully short chapter. Please read, review, follow or favourite. Thanks to Becca who corrects what I get wrong when writing in pitch darkness.


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7

When Harry took Dudley's breakfast upstairs he was greeted by his cousin lying face down on the bed, snoring. Sighing, Harry left the room quietly. There went his chance to learn more about his cousin. Not that he could blame Dudley - he'd been through a lot over the last 24 hours.

As he walked down he thought of how different things last year were. Instead of work, Harry had just got back from a family holiday to France with Bill and his kids to see Fleur's family. Ginny hadn't been too happy about Gabrielle who had grown up a lot over the years and clearly hadn't lost her affection for Harry but the family were together and looking forward to spending Christmas with the rest of the Weasleys. Harry hadn't spared a thought for the Dursley's then and now they were all he could think of.

Downstairs, Harry cleared away Dudley's plate and tossed it in the sink before dumping himself on the sofa and switching on the television. The muggle prime minister appeared on the screen; Harry listened to a few sentences about public transport before shutting his eyes and allowing the drone of speech soothe him to sleep.

A few hours later he awoke with a jolt. The front door had slammed open. He jumped violently to his feet, drawing his wand from his back pocket, preparing himself to attack the intruder. He recognised the familiar voices of his wife and children and relaxed, mentally reprimanding himself for being so paranoid. The war was over, there was nothing for him or his family to be worried about. Occasionally, when he was taken by surprise, he was overcome with paranoia and his mind returned to the nights leading up to the final battle - days of fear and instability.

Ridding the unwanted images from his head, Harry left the living room and greeted his children. He helped his wife place the numerous shopping bags on the kitchen table. Lily was babbling about George's new range of giant pygmy puffs.

"They're, like, the size of a quaffle and mum promised she'd get me an orange one for Christmas!" Harry smiled at his daughter.

"How was George?" Harry asked. Lily shrugged and continued her description of the wonders of Weasleys' Wizard Wheezes. Harry turned to Albus. He was more perceptive than Lily; he would have noticed if George was acting differently.

After Fred died it felt like George had too. He stopped talking and joking. He barely ate. Molly had insisted that he moved back to the Burrow but he hardly slept and when he did his screams had haunted the remaining Weasleys. Eventually Bill had found George with his wand pointed at his heart trying to Avada Kedavra himself. Living without his twin had proved too much for George to handle. After that he had moved in with Harry and Ginny for a while. Ginny had always been close to the twins and took it upon herself to help George. She reopened the shop, convincing George that Fred would never have wanted it closed down. Slowly George healed and he got better bit by bit. He moved back into the shop. There he met Angelina Johnson again, who took over from Ginny. Every now and again he slipped back into his depression and locked himself away in the shop, so far he had never tried to kill himself again and Harry always tried to watch out for George. Partly because George was like a brother to him and partly because he couldn't help but blame himself for Fred's death.

"So, how was George?" he repeated, looking at Albus expectantly.

"I didn't notice." he muttered, adamantly staring at the floor, his cheeks flushing. Harry frowned. It wasn't like Albus to hide things from him. Harry had always thought himself a pretty approachable parent, certainly more than Ginny, Hermione or Ron.

"Did something happen?" he said quietly in Ginny's ear. She shook her head.

"I left them with George while I was in Flourish and Blotts. I didn't see anything."  
Harry nodded in reply. He would talk to Albus later. James was already angry at him and he couldn't handle having both his sons not talking to him.

They finished putting the shopping away in silence and Harry returned upstairs to Dudley's room. Dudley was still asleep so Harry sat on the floor by the side of his bed, looking up at his cousin's face. His face was more relaxed than before and Harry recognised a shadow of innocence that reminded him of the times before the war, when their relationship had been much simpler. They had hated each other. There was no need to rely on each other and they never had to talk.

Harry sighed loudly and Dudley's eyes flicked open. The pair stared at each other, both unwilling to break the silence. Dudley broke first.

"Thank you." he said quietly. Harry looked at him, unsure of what Dudley was referring to.

"What for?" Harry asked.

"Saving me from the dementors. I never said thank you." Harry almost laughed. After everything that had happened to them, Dudley was concerned about the dementor attack from over 20 years ago.

"You said I wasn't a waste of space." Harry remembered with a small smile.

"But I didn't say thank you. You stopped me from becoming what dad did. You saved me." Dudley's face paled. "You could have saved him but you weren't there. Why weren't you there?" Dudley's eyes were looking straight at Harry's. Harry thought for a while before answering. He wasn't sure how much Dudley had been told.

"There was a war."

"But what happened to you?" Dudley persisted.

"Did no one tell you?" Dudley shook his head.

"Tell me now. Everything."

A/N

Sorrrrrrrrrrrryyy. It's been 4 months since I last updated, apparently there are more important things to do in life than write fanfiction unfortunately but the next post should be quicker. Sorry this one's short but it seemed like a good place to end. Thanks to Becca my beta again for being her amazing self. Please review.


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8

"From the very beginning then." Harry took a deep breath, he had never talked to anyone openly about what he had been through, not even his children, but if there was someone who deserved to know the truth then it was the man sitting in front of him.

Dudley sat in complete silence as Harry slowly explained about the prophecy and how Voldemort had tried to kill him as a baby. He told Dudley about how his mother had died for him and her love had destroyed Voldemort leaving Harry orphaned and scarred, on the doorstep of number 4 Privet Drive. Skipping over the years of hell he'd experienced at the hands of Dudley and his parents he tried to describe his days at school. It seemed surreal how much he had gone through as a child. He had defeated a troll, fought for the philosopher's stone and faced Voldemort again in his first year alone. The Basilisk seemed small compared to what else he had done. Tears streamed down Harry's face as he described finding Sirius, having to fight in the Triwizard Tournament, Cedric's death and Voldemort's return. Harry rubbed his hand subconsciously as he described Umbridge's time at Hogwarts, the scars had faded but the words were still visible on his skin. He talked about having to share his mind with Voldemort and his stupidity which lead to him losing Sirius all over again. By the time he was explaining about the horcruxes, Harry could barely speak. He sobbed helplessly as he described Dumbledore's death. To Harry's surprise, Dudley slid off the bed and put his arm around Harry's shoulder while he struggled to continue.

There were so many terrible things Harry had to relive before finishing the tale but there were also sparks of happiness in his story. There were so many people he had loved and eventually fought alongside: Ron and Hermione, Ginny, Dumbledore's Army, the rest of the Weasleys, Sirius, Lupin, the Order of the Phoenix and Dumbledore. Every time in the Gryffindor common room, every Quidditch match, every Hogsmeade trip, every DA meeting, every summer at the Burrow, every second he had spent with Ginny hadn't been overshadowed by Voldemort or the war but seemed even greater in comparison.

"Last year, after you left so did I. There was a plan to get me out safely. People disguised themselves as me to confuse the death eaters. It worked, sort of, I got away alright but one of Ron's brothers lost his ear and Mad-Eye was killed." Harry sighed deeply and tried to compose himself. It was easier to describe the hunt for horcruxes. It had been dull and repetitive most of the time and there was no one marching into battle for him then. Ron's absence and the time at Malfoy Manor were painful to remember and Harry tried not to think of Dobby dying in his arms as his tears began again. After reviving the trip to into Gringotts, Harry eventually reached the Battle of Hogwarts.

"Too many people died – Fred, Lupin and Tonks but there were so many people I didn't know, people I'd never even talked to but they believed in me. They really thought I would defeat Voldemort and laid down their lives so I could. Everyone did, they were depending on me to kill him. They trusted me. And then there was Snape, Voldemort killed Snape. I was there. I watched that snake attack him and I couldn't do anything. I wanted to save him, I did, I tried to save him but there was nothing I could do. H-He gave me a memory, Dumbledore had told him to, he told Snape to explain everything. Snape was a spy. He worked for Dumbledore because… because he was in love with my mother and he wanted to protect her from Voldemort. I hated him and he gave his life to save me. I thought he was evil..." Harry's voice faded away and he stared at the floor silently. He had wasted so much time hating Snape, even wishing the man dead from his sixth year until the moment he viewed the memory.

He had kept the memory. When he had returned to the headmaster's office after the battle, he had collected it from the pensieve and it was now upstairs in the moleskin pouch Hagrid had given him for his 17th birthday along with the shard of Sirius' mirror, his first snitch, one of the twigs left over from his Nimbus 2000, the photo album Hagrid had given him years ago and the photo of the original Order the Phoenix that had ended up in his possession when Mad-Eye had died. He couldn't bear to look at them anymore. They reminded him too much of what he had lost, who he had lost.

When Dudley's arm squeezed his shoulder gently, Harry looked up and started to describe the final part of his story.

"It also said that, that I was another horcrux, the last horcrux, Voldemort had accidentally attached a part of his soul to me and so if Voldemort was going to be defeated, I had to…" Harry paused. He didn't want to say it. He didn't want to admit how he had learnt what he had to do.

"I had to die. I had to let Voldemort kill me. I-I wanted to run away. I didn't want to do it, I wanted to live. There were people dying all around me, people dying for me but I couldn't die for them." Harry collapsed into sobs again. Everyone always told him he was so brave for letting himself be killed but he wasn't. He couldn't sacrifice himself to destroy Voldemort and save the lives of thousands of people.

"I had to have help. I used the resurrection stone and they all came back: my parents, Sirius and Remus. It felt like cheating. Everyone else was walking to their death alone and afraid but I had my family with me. I had let so many people die, let so many families be torn apart but I brought my own back. They were nice to me. They said they were proud but I've done so much wrong. I've caused so much pain. They were there till I met Voldemort and then, he killed me." Dudley stared at Harry, he seemed unwillingly to talk but Harry answered his unspoken question.

"I don't know what happened. Dumbledore tried to explain it. The part of Voldemort was gone but somehow I wasn't. I survived. I went back. Voldemort took me back to the castle and showed me to everyone. They all thought I was gone but then Neville was there and he killed the snake and I managed to get away. Everyone was fighting again but this time we were winning. I found Voldemort and then it was all over. I killed him. He's dead." Harry stopped. He didn't know what else to say. His life had been dominated by Voldemort. He hadn't known what to do afterwards.

"What happened next?" Dudley asked after a few seconds. It was the first time he'd talked since Harry had begun speaking and Harry was unsure of how to answer the question. He hesitated then answered as honestly as he could.

"Lots of funerals and speeches and award ceremonies. Then… nothing, really. I went back to school for a year to finish my exams, became an Auror, married Ginny and had my kids." Dudley was silent.

"You've done so much." He said eventually, "It's like I don't even know you anymore or I never knew you to begin with." Harry shrugged.

"You know more than anyone now. I don't talk about the war."

"To anyone?" Harry shook his head, "Why not?"

"People always want to congratulate me and say thank you and all I can think is that I probably caused the deaths of half their family and they should hate me for inflicting that upon them."

"You didn't kill them, Harry."

"I caused the war."

"Voldemort caused the war. You ended the war."

"But I was the reason so many people died. I brought the war to Hogwarts. I was the reason so many people fought. Children died because of me!"

"People would have fought even if you weren't there."

"But I could have gone to him beforehand, I could have killed him earlier."

"You said yourself the last horcrux was at Hogwarts, you had to go there. What else could you have done?"

"I should have been stronger! I should have been able to kill him, I shouldn't have let so many people die so I could live. I should be the one dead. I wish I was." Dudley stared at Harry for a long moment then drew back his hand and slapped him across the face. Harry jumped to his feet swearing.

"What was that for?"

"Don't say that."

"Say what?"

"That you should be dead." Dudley's voice was quiet and calm. Harry's anger swelled. Dudley did not have the right to tell him how he should feel.

"You can hardly talk! At least I didn't try and commit suicide, unlike you." It was a cruel thing to bring up but Harry couldn't help it. Did Dudley not understand how he felt? He was responsible for those deaths. It was right that he should be blamed, he should have suffered. To Harry's surprise, Dudley didn't hit him again.

"I had nothing to live for. My parents are dead and I couldn't find you. I had no one. You have a wife and three kids downstairs. Would you tell them that? Would you tell your children you want to die?" Harry sat down on the bed and stared at his lap.

"No." he replied weakly.

"So don't say it at all. Look at me." Harry reluctantly lifted his head to face Dudley, "You are not to blame. Voldemort caused the deaths. Voldemort started the war. Voldemort is responsible. You saved people, you didn't kill them." Harry looked away again.

"Bu-"

"No buts. It was not your fault." Harry buried his head in his hands. Dudley sat down beside him and wrapped his arms around his cousin.

"I'm sorry."

"What for?"

"You're the one who's ill and yet you're comforting me." Dudley paled slightly and withdrew his arms.

"Everybody needs comforting sometimes." Harry smiled and stood up.

"I'm going downstairs. It's almost time to eat and Ginny will want help. Get some sleep. I'll bring you up some food." Dudley nodded and Harry left the room. Dudley groaned and flopped back onto the bed.

"You can sort out everyone's life but your own." He mumbled before drifting back to sleep.

A/N

Took me less time to write this one :) Thank you to Becca who is becoming less like a beta and more like a co-writer with every chapter. Please review.


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter 9

From the stairs, Harry could hear laughter coming from the kitchen. Inside, his children were sitting at the table and Ginny was standing by the oven. As Harry entered, everyone turned to look at him. Harry saw the worried looks on their faces and suddenly realised his red eyes would give away that he had just been crying. Ginny gave him a reassuring smile.

"Perfect timing, I was just about to call you." She said, waving her wand. The plates on the counter flew over to the table and Harry went to take his seat. He glanced at James, who seemed to have gotten over the argument from earlier and was now eagerly shovelling his food into his mouth.

Guiltily, Harry stared at his family. He couldn't believe that half an hour ago he had been willing to give all this up. How could Dudley have been so right? His family was worth living for and he was going to make the most of all the time he had with them.

"So, what have you all done today?" he asked, grinning at his children. Lily immediately launched into a loud explanation of the trip to Diagon Alley and how she had met Aunty Luna and the twins at Fortescue's ice cream parlour (which was now run by Florean's son) and she had eaten a large strawberry sundae. Albus interrupted her as she began to describe the sprinkles.

"I went over to Scorpius'." James mumbled something that sounded a lot like 'stupid snakes'. Albus heard and flushed slightly before continuing.

"Mr Malfoy was teaching us how to do a patronus." he said, "Scorpius couldn't do one but I managed to get this silver vapour."

"Nerd." muttered James. Albus went even redder and Harry shot James a warning look.

"I learnt how to make a patronus when I was 13 too." Harry smiled at the memory.

"A real one?" Albus asked. Harry nodded.

"It's a stag."

"Wow, you must have been really strong." Harry laughed at the awestruck expression on Albus' face.

"No, I just had a good teacher." Harry's smile faded slightly as he remembered Lupin letting him face the boggart and how he had heard his parents' voices as they died. Even his school memories were tainted by the war. He had no carefree, innocent moments to look back on.

"Your dad was a really good teacher as well. He taught me how to make one." Ginny added.

"Can you teach me?" Albus asked eagerly.

"If you want." Looking at his eldest son, Harry continued, "I'll teach you as well if you want, James." James shrugged.

"No, thanks." he scowled. Harry couldn't understand what he was doing wrong. He knew his work reduced the time he got to spend with his children and now Dudley was interfering as well but it wasn't Harry's fault. He hadn't wanted to be stuck in Albania. He was trying his best but James was refusing to understand and cooperate. Harry frowned. Ginny had said James was looking forward to see him but the holidays were just starting and Harry had only missed a couple of days. James was overreacting; there would be plenty of time for them to spend together. Harry just wanted him to know that.

"James, do you want to go to the Quidditch museum tomorrow?" Harry asked. The Quidditch museum had always been their special place. They had first gone on James' second birthday, Ginny had been working and Ron and Hermione had taken Albus for the day; James had fallen in love with the brooms. Harry could still remember him running from display to display as fast as his legs could carry him. Albus and Lily had never really been that interested and while Ginny loved Quidditch, walking around an old museum wasn't her favourite thing to do.  
James looked up in excitement.

"Really? We haven't gone in ages."

"Sure, I've missed our trips." Harry's had been too busy at work for them to go recently. James grinned and started eating again. Ginny looked at Harry approvingly.

"How was your day?" he asked gently.

"Good, I managed to find that book for Hermione and then I took the rest of the presents over to the Burrow. Mum's looking forward to seeing everyone again."

"She sees us every other day." Harry laughed.

"Yeah but not everyone together. We haven't seen Charlie since Easter, he's been so busy with work." Charlie was always reluctant to leave his beloved dragons and return to England. His current excuse was that the dragon sanctuary was being expanded. Twelve dragons were being moved from Australia as three had managed to escape from the reserve in the last two months. For most of the Weasleys this was a viable excuse but Molly was determined that her son was just avoiding having to discuss his current lack of family with her.

"Molly needs to leave him alone. She's got more than enough grandchildren."

"He's a bit old for grandchildren. I think she just worries, he's 45 and he's all alone."

"You know Charlie, he loves his dragons more than human company."

"I suppose, did I tell you Teddy and Andromeda are coming as well?" Harry looked up in surprise.

"Teddy's coming?" Lily asked excitedly.

"I thought he was taking Andi to Turkey?" Harry queried.

"They cancelled it. I think Ted wanted to be with Victoire." Ginny explained. Harry grinned, the couple were so in love it was almost sickly.

"We haven't seen Teddy in ages." Albus smiled. All of the Potter children loved Teddy, he was their cool godbrother – young enough to not be considered an adult, but old enough to for them to go to for advice. Of course, the fact he was a metamorphagus who spent his life travelling added his appeal. Harry, on the other hand, despaired at his godson. Teddy had been out of Hogwarts for 4 years and still hadn't got a job. He was determined to have fun while he could. He had been everywhere from New Zealand to Japan, working for a few weeks then moving on. Andromeda and Harry had tried to tell him to settle down but Teddy only returned to see Victoire and tell everyone his impressive stories.

"He's disgusting with Victoire though," said Lily, wrinkling her nose at the memory of the couple's over-enthusiastic embraces.

"It'll be nice to see him again though." James mused. The family sat in silence for a moment.

"So who's winning the House Cup at the moment?" Harry enquired in an effort to restart the conversation.

"Us." Albus smiled.

"Yeah, but we're easily going to beat you at Quidditch." James argued.

"I doubt it."

"How would you know? You're not even on the Quidditch team!"

"I've seen them practising and we have much better chasers than you."

"There is no way Malfoy and the rest of your slimy friends are better than me, Emily and Hayley!" Emily Wood and Hayley Dartmore were the other Gryffindor chasers. They were both sixth years and Emily, taking after her father, was the captain of the team.

Harry felt like slamming his head against a brick wall. How could he be so stupid? He had to bring up house rivalries: the one topic Albus and James fought most on. Usually they got on, but James had never really gotten over Albus getting into Slytherin and certainly hadn't forgiven him for befriending Scorpius Malfoy. James had picked up Ron's prejudice towards Slytherins and always over reacted whenever someone criticised Gryffindor. He opened his mouth to try and prevent an argument but the fireworks had already begun.

"Don't call them that!" Albus shouted.

"Why not?" Slytherins are evil!"

"So I'm evil, am I?" James shrugged. He was unwilling to openly insult his brother. Albus stared at him but James didn't reply,

"You really do, don't you?" he was quiet now. James was silent.

"I can't believe you hate us so much you'd think your own brother was evil." Albus was pale and his eyes were full of tears.

"I don't think you're evil," James tried to backtrack, "It's just Slytherins…"

"I'm a Slytherin, James."

"But you shouldn't be. Potters are always Gryffindors, Weasleys are always Gryffindors! You shouldn't be a snake, it's wrong!"

"James, upstairs now." Harry stood up, his voice easily louder than the two shouting boys. James looked at Harry, then stormed out the kitchen, his feet stamping as he ran up the stairs. Harry turned to Albus who now how tears streaming down his face. Lily looked pale.

"Gin, can you and Lily go into the other room please? I want to talk to Albus." Ginny nodded, gave Albus a reassuring smile then she and Lily left the room. As soon as they had gone, Albus started sobbing.

"Al," Harry spoke softly. Albus continued sobbing. Harry grabbed a chair and sat down next to him, "Albus look at me." he said more sternly. Albus looked up, his eyes were red and tears were still spilling down his cheeks. Quickly, he wiped his face with his sleeve and tried to calm down. When Albus was more collected, Harry started to speak again.

"Do you remember what I told you when you started Hogwarts?" he asked gently. Albus nodded, "Have I ever done anything to make you think I love you less because you're in Slytherin?"

"No." Albus muttered.

"Has your mum?" Albus shook his head, "So don't worry about James, he's just angry at me and he's taking it out on everyone else."

"But he's right!" Albus blurted out, "Everyone who was evil was in Slytherin. Voldemort was a Slytherin!"

"Is Scorpius evil?"

"Well, no."

"Is Draco evil?"

"Mr Malfoy? No..."

"Was Snape evil?"

"No."

"And what house were they in?"

"Slytherin..." Albus mumbled.

"Albus, what do you want to be when you grow up?" Albus blinked in surprise at the sudden change in topic.

"Wand maker."

"So you'd want to work for Ollivander?"

"No."

"Why not?"

"Because I want to do it better." Harry chuckled. Albus frowned, "What?"

"That, Albus, is why you're in Slytherin You're ambitious, not evil. You're house doesn't define who you are, you do."

"But, James..."

"Don't listen to your brother. Listen to me. I'll be talking to James but you need to stop letting him wind you up. Just ignore him."

"Fine." Albus stood up to leave, "I'm going to my room." He walked towards the door. Just as he was about to leave, Harry remembered something.

"Hang on, you weren't with Uncle George today. Where did you go?" Albus blushed and muttered something unintelligible under his breath and all but sprinted from the room.

A/N

Thanks for reading, please review. This may be the last chapter until July, it depends if I can finish another one before my exams start. Thank you Becca, whose just put up with a two hour video call so she could edit this with me.


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